Sunday, July 25, 2010

shawty got swagg

So just like any other normal evening after class, i was briskly walking to the parking garage to jump into the minivan and speed (psht, legally of course) onto home to satisfy my raging hunger for my mom's amazingly-amazing home-cooked indian food.  As I was walking I noticed that there was a guy behind me who even though was walking at a slower pace was still catching up to me.  Unless he was taking big strides or lunges, the rate of his treads on the pavement did not explain his progression.  Then it hit me:

Shorter people have to walk faster to keep up with the pace of taller people.
..How did I not realize this earlier?  Haven't I spent time walking, running, jogging, etc. with physically-taller company before?  The good confidence I had for the day had slightly slipped and what I immediately thought of as my "inferior" physicality surmounted my conscience.  After luxuriating in my mother's food, I decided to make a list about the advantages and disadvantages of being short to help my minute insecurity of my height.  Unfortunately, being a slight pessimist, I thought of many disadvantages before I could think of advantages:

- Shorter people usually have shorter legs, thus they have to walk faster.  We have to "scurry" to keep up pace with a much taller person.
- Some of us look a lot younger than our age unfortunately
- You have to sit on a pillow in order to see comfortably over the steering wheel
- You often find yourself asking for assistance to reach things on higher shelves, whether they're in stores or your own kitchen
- You sometimes run risk to not being able to go on an amusement park ride with your friends
- Unless you have a special physical ability to jump super-high, basketball is a much more difficult sport for you than it is for your peers

 - We can crawl, ANYWHERE....Okay, that may have been a handy trait if we lived in caves, but as the gene is still inherent in our population, isn't it just funny to know we have the physical convenience to crawl into short spaces?  I guess that means we can have smaller houses?  Hello slightly cheaper housing!
- King-Size beds are more majestic to us.  That doesn't mean we need a king-size bed in order to feel comfortable because we can comfortably manage with a full size length bed.  But the king-size does what it's titled for - it makes us feel like a king in a perfectly-huge-sized bed; considering our height, the grandeur of its large size becomes even greater when we can't reach the edge of the bed with our feet.  (That also means we can be warm with smaller, shorter blankets=no cold feet)
- Hmm what else, unless you've built the tolerance, you can get wooooozy faaaaast, if you catch my drift ;).  Okay yes that can be a negative thing in some situations, but in almost most every other situation, it's a positive because it's quicker, faster, and frankly, cheaper
- When you find yourself asking for assistance to reach things on higher shelves, you have a genuine reason to start a conversation with a possible cutie? or just someone :)
- If your feet are proportional to your height, then you have small feet, and can sometimes luck out by purchasing the kid's size of the same shoe for a much cheaper price..
- You can date a guy of any height :)
- The ceiling is never too low

Look at that, more advantages then disadvantages...shawty got swagg

wanna know which celebrities share your height?

i'm as tall as audrey tatou, jessica simpson, pink, and drew barrymore, but am 3.5 inches shy of being as tall as jessica alba (5.6 feet).  ugh why is she so perfect?!


  1. This was such an amusing post. Oh you will always be my little k whom I look down to. (No like literally look down to...)

  2. well at least i won't have as much neck strain :)

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Funny post.